I’ll be back soon, but until then, check out my latest (sobering) post at N&B.

First, the trailer contains several scenes (my count is four) that were completely edited out of the movie, to its detriment I think. In general, the movie sacrifices deep moments for broad summaries of Liz’s (Julia Roberts’) experiences in each country–and as a result, the trailer manages to evoke more insight into Liz’s character and personal enlightenment than the movie does. In any case, Julia Roberts is a goddess and I can’t hate on a movie that is modeled off of such a good book.*

The movie DID whet my appetite for adventure, which is a good thing because I’ll be jetting off to Copenhagen, Denmark in a month–smack dab in the middle of the semester. It’ll be difficult to take a week off from school, I imagine, but I can’t complain: Three other law students and I entered an international negotiation competition over the summer, and our written submission qualified us for the oral rounds, which involves an all-expense-paid five-day trip to Denmark!! We’ll spend that time negotiating a treaty on international trade in pharmaceutical products with seven other schools from all over the world, and hopefully finding some time to sight-see!

The movie returns several times to an elderly medicine man in Bali who starts every palm reading with “You are a world traveler…” Looks like I’m much closer to the dream this year than I was last year, working in an office bored out of my mind eight hours a day. It’s opportunities like these that really make me feel how much law school has been my reinvention, much like pizza/praying/sex was for Liz Gilbert.

*I realize this statement cheapens my legitimacy as a consumer of literature–just like saying “My favorite book is the DaVinci Code” or “I named my cat Gatsby”–but honestly, I picked this book up in an airport expecting it to be garbage, and was amazed at how well it helped me put a VERY difficult breakup-type-thing into perspective. I still quote the book’s ideas on what “soul mates” are: “People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it.”

Although a majority of fellow 2Ls would probably sock me in the face for sharing this sentiment, I’m finding this whole thing bittersweet. Everyone else is going through the 2L rite of passage–parading around in suits 24/7, bidding on firms, rolling dice and throwin’ down dollaz in the Bancroft Hotel, etc. Meanwhile, I am… going to class? Sleeping 6-7 hours a night? Something just doesn’t feel right.

So I have resolved to spend my ample time these next two weeks on becoming the most helpful 2L on the planet: In addition to providing endless unsolicited advice to the new 1L population, I shall become a friend of travel-weary 2Ls roaming the school in tattered suits, not knowing whether they’re on their way to a firm, from a firm, or ARE a firm. “Jones Day?? No, no honey. Your name is Amy.”

First aid kit, check. Ammo belt full of lint rollers, check. Motivational speech on how bad interviews tend to yield callbacks, and how good interviews DEFINITELY will yield a callback, double-check.

I barely know a little more-than-jack-s(#% about the law, and yet 2L year has given me a sense of tenure that (while virtually meritless) is super fun! I’ve been walking the halls these last few days, ooh-ing and aww-ing at the 1Ls trying to find their way through the Resident Evil-esque construction corridors of Boalt Hall. Occasionally, I will offer a gentle comment like “Don’t let the electrical wires make contact with your hair,” or “The candy bowl in the library is right here, hon,” but mostly I focus hard on refraining from patting them on the head (I’ve been told that’s crossing the line — I guess everyone’s got boundary issues these days.)

God forbid one of the littl’uns actually SAYS something to me, because I LOVE LOVE LOVE giving unsolicited advice (yes, the same advice I mocked on this blog as a 1L myself.) By the way, I’ve found that my instincts last year to disregard such advice were absolutely correct. Half of the time, I’ll say something to one of these 1Ls and then realize, “Hey, Alex, what the f(#$ was that?” In any case, here are just a few creative ideas I’ve come up with for delivering advice to the newly-minted 1L population:

Biblical: ”Ye of class Year 1, Boalt Year 99, God’s year 2010, may the shining light of Legalines lessen your heavy load…”

Fortune Cookie: “Great things come to those who highlight in less than 3 colors,” OR more abstract, “1  24  16  5  9″

Emphatic: ”OH MY GOODNESS!!! LAW SCHOOL!!!! YOU’RE HERE!!!! AHHHHH!!! DON’T EAT THE FREE PIZZA OR YOU’LL GET FAT!”

Cynical: ”He he. THAT teacher? Pssshawww. Buy the outline now. Read outlines in class, don’t listen, read. Read and write. You’ll get it eventually.”

Scare Tactic: “RUN!”

Alex here, reporting from the frontlines of that awkward few months between being a baby 1L and going to more interviews than Lindsay Lohan post-Cell Block 5. What, exactly, do I have to report? Several things, ranging from shameless self-aggrandizement (hey, it’s a blog) to more pearls of wisdom for future classes of 1L summers. Let’s start with the good stuff…

I made law review!

My firm flew me to Seattle last week and I got to demo super-awesome video games!

Unrelated to that trip, I am now the proud owner of a PS3 and, yes, I am using it to perfect my GTA IV skillz!

Now that I have THAT out of the way, here is a random collection of insights I’ve gleaned from working in a firm this summer:

#1 – Be a law student

This may seem obvs, but trust me – I’ve watched many a fellow summer look ridiculous trying to act like they’re already an associate. Part of our charm as summer associates and law students is that we remind lawyers of THEIR law school experiences (translate: that glorious time when they were free and didn’t have to work chained to a desk 12 hours a day). We are the youthful, unknowing, excitable, and mildly retarded iterations of future lawyers through which REAL lawyers may live vicariously and who provide an excuse to throw parties/drink beer on the company dime. So how does this play out in real life? Don’t be afraid to admit you have no f–ing clue what you’re doing. Don’t be afraid to sound like a dork talking about moot court or relating things back to your classes. DO think twice before you start checking your blackberry every 2 minutes like someone’s actually depending on your ability to respond that quickly. Check yourself if you’re nodding along with everything a partner’s saying like you know exactly what they’re talking about and then some (I’m guilty of this one quite a bit). Just be yourself, and enjoy being a silly little associate on training wheels for the time being.

#2 – Remember What Your Mamma Used to Say

This also may seem obvious, but I’m convinced that somewhere between college and law school people lose these basic life lessons:

Brush your teeth. Chew with your mouth closed. Say “hello” to people you recognize in the halls. Don’t interrupt. And for Christ’s sake, don’t walk around in the office barefoot – I don’t care if it’s your office and the door was closed… civilized people wear shoes!

#3 – If You’re Going to Tell People that you Have Three Rules in Life, They’d Better be DAMN Good

Ok seriously, this one is informed by an actual conversation I overheard. If your summer associate schtick is going to be that you have three rules in life, make sure they aren’t things like “I never cook for myself” or “I never push a shopping cart”. Not only does this make you seem entitled and spoiled, but it makes everyone around you think that you have absolutely ZERO judgment in the “relating to other people” department. Examples of Life Rules that I’d actually respect:

1) “I always make sure to check the meter on my oxygen tank three times before a particularly deep abalone dive.”

2) “Carry Tums, always. Especially if you have a diet rich in habanero peppers like me.”

3) “A memo a day keeps the layoffs away.”

#4 – Stop Using “In This Economy” as a Proxy for Intellect

Okay, I’ll admit I haven’t experienced this one first-hand. But one of my good friends has been going nuts because several of the other youngins at her summer job WILL NOT stop using “In this economy…” to preface ideas. I am told they’ve even shortened it to “ITE”, as in: “ITE anyone could find themselves employed as a law clerk at the local sanitization plant because ITE being sanitary is especially important when you can’t afford handsoap ITE.”

#5 – Do Not Be the One Who Gets Shitfaced

My last piece of advice is especially subtle. Per #1, it’s good to show off your law studenty-ness - that you’re fun, hard-working, entertaining, sincere. But it is NOT good to be the life of the party dancing half naked with a tikki torch in one hand and a broken wine bottle in the other (for example). My impression is that there’s an unspoken expectation at some firm events that summers are going to be the ones who take the party to the next level. After all, we’re the ones with only tentative ties to the firm, and the ones with probably the worst judgment of anyone there. DO NOT BE THE SACRIFICIAL LAMB! People are just dying to gossip about “that” summer – and every class is inevitably going to have “that” summer. Better to be the sometimes-amusing but always composed one than the one who gets everybody laughing, and continues to be the laughing stock all summer long.

That’s it for now – as always, it’s been a pleasure. I promise I’ll keep coming back, no matter how infrequently now that I’m busy trying not to make a bloody fool out of myself.

I love the way you – and only you – know how to make yourself “finals-busy” in the middle of June. It’s indubitably clever, the way you signed up for a summertime moot court project due July 1, are workin’ the social events at  your firm every night, simultaneously conducted a move-in with your boyfriend, and adopted two kittens the very day he moved in, even though you’re allergic to cats! You cad!

Well, at least your secretary had an extra HEPA air purifier hanging around (now it’s just a matter of carrying it home on BART.) And at least the kittens have mastered the art of empathy – in fact, King Henry seems to feel exactly the way I do this week:

Just one week left until this moot court project needs to be turned in, then Project Lose the Ten Pounds of Pizza and Donuts Imbibed as a 1L begins!

Love,
Me

Suddenly, my doorbell rings and the present comes rushing back in with the cool hallway air. Matt is only days away from getting his own set of keys to this place, and I’ve just finished cleaning up after my sister’s big move-out day. I tell him I’m getting back into blogging, and he asks for a quick dance. So we put on Slow Dance by John Legend and spin around the livingroom. As I sit back down, I notice that the anchorwoman on mute is starting to look old… time for some new blood.

My first week of work was wonderful – I really couldn’t be happier. Although all the memories of my last job have flooded back, including the familiar frustrations of office culture, I’d be hard-pressed to find a comparison in my own life for what could only be described as getting spoiled rotten by some of the awesomest people ever, in the awesomest place ever. Being treated so well after only a year of law school makes me feel like some ridiculous urban Aladdin after his genie-makeover into a prince. I’ll have to work on feeling like less of an intellectual ragamuffin around all the impressive men and women I’m getting to know.

Thankfully, my livingroom isn’t sweltering like it has been the last few days: after surviving a winter with absolutely no heat in my vintage apartment, last Wednesday my landlord finally decided to let PG&E in to repair the heater and re-light the pilot. Ever since then, the dusty old clunker has been making an eerie groaning noise and shooting heat into my livingroom (even though the thermostat is at the lowest setting.) So I went in there myself, turned a few nobs, flipped a switch, (almost set myself on fire) and got the damned thing to turn off. Now, if there’s one thing you learn after a year of law school, it’s how to spot a factual situation likely to result in a tort. But I figured – if I’m going to get roasted like a marshmallow, might as well be proactive about it. Lucky for me, the apartment is now a blissful 10 degrees cooler.

…and I got to thinking about all the classes, journals, trials, negotiations, teaching assistant-ships, briefs, oral arguments, interviews, etc. that will likely dominate my life next year. And here’s what I realized, however obvious it may be:

It’s easy to deceive oneself into thinking that taking on MORE is the difficult route. But it’s much more difficult to choose a few things, do them really well, and avoid over-committing.

I think the tendency of law students to over-commit and under-deliver is why alot of people think it’s a soul-crushing institution. What ever happened to spending 5 minutes writing out a birthday card? Only choosing a few activities but being a leader, rather than a drone dragging their feet to finish their assignments? It’s the nature of the beast that we want to collect laurels for our ever-important resumes – but it’s prioritizing and following through on those little things that keeps us human.

This has been your M.P. finals time public service announcement.